May 1st, 2019 marked 1 year in remission from Stage 3 Classical Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
A year ago I got the call saying my latest scan showed there was no cancerous activity in my body. I officially made it to the other side of my diagnosis, but I still had 4 months of chemo left.
A year into remission, I’ve found hardest part of remission is simply being. During treatment the goal is to reach remission but once you do, you’re often left feeling...okay now what? What do I do next? Resuming your old ways seems impossible. So ...much in your life has changed. Some things for the better. Some for worse.
My cancer journey has taught me accepting the changes— both positive and negative are part of healing. Healing is a paradox. It’s a constant push and pull between watching your appearance drastically change while celebrating any progress you make towards healing. Because all these bodily changes indicate something very powerful is happening, right?
I had big plans to celebrate my first year of remission. I planned to run in my first 5K at Northwestern next month. But as I started to train and push myself to get into shape I soon realized my body isn’t ready…YET 😉
So this year I may walk the Northwestern’s Cancer Survivors’ 5K instead of run but I’ve decided any positive change is PROGRESS. Instead of pushing myself to accomplish lofty goals, I’m giving myself grace. Grace to not push myself so hard and enjoy the healing process one day at a time.
Healing is becoming whole again and that wholeness comes in many forms. We are shaped by our positive and negative experiences. But I’m slowly learning it’s how we find balance that truly makes all the difference.
Today, I’m so grateful to be able to enjoy dinner at home with my family. We’re counting our blessings and hugging each other a little tighter tonight. I hope I am fortunate to count my remission by the number of years but until then I am learning sometimes all you can do is not think, not imagine, not obsess. All you can really do is take a deep breath and have faith it will all work out for the best.
If you want to donate or join me next month for the Northwestern Cancer Survivors’ 5K please visit my team site: https://secure2.convio.net/nmhc/site/TR/Walk/EVE_LCCWALK…
Thanks for your continued prayers and support!