“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”
A year ago today I rang the bell marking the end of my treatment.
I’ll never forget the feeling as I stood in my hospital room and proudly rang a white ceramic bell that had been in my family for generations.
My husband, best friend and my favorite nurses cheered me on as I clumsily, cautiously and courageously rang the bell.
It felt a little silly—maybe I was wrong to celebrate such a moment?
This was a moment that unfortunately not all those who are diagnosed with cancer, especially stage 3, get to have.
The truth is, milestones are an important part of our cancer journey. They are the signposts that signal how far we’ve come in our treatment. These milestones can be the date of your cancer diagnosis, the end of chemotherapy or radiation, the anniversary of your surgery, or annual anniversaries of having no signs or symptoms of cancer.
But not all cancer survivors and patients feel comfortable celebrating these moments. Some feel it’s insensitive to celebrate in the company of others who may not be able to achieve a similar milestone.
Treatment milestones often trigger a wide range of emotions, from gratitude and relief to pain and sadness. Many still fear recurrence—even after many years have passed. It’s for many of these reasons that my hospital didn’t have a Cancer Survivors’ Bell in our cancer center. And that’s perfectly okay.
Endings are uncomfortable and sometimes messy. But I’ve always believed endings must be honored, especially during times of uncertainty.
Once you’ve been told you have cancer, that word is always with you. As much as we would like to leave our diagnosis and treatment in the past once it’s over, we must recognize we are entering a new chapter in our journey—we are transitioning from being patients to survivors. This transition can cause a mix of feelings from excitement to anxiety and fear for what’s next.
Endings help remind us that things are constantly changing, and they will never go back to the way they used to be. And that's fine because "different" doesn't have to mean good or bad. It's simply a different experience. I believe healing comes through acceptance, and in learning to balance the pain of loss with the excitement of change.
Every ending makes space for a new beginning. It is creating the opportunity for us to start again with what we’ve learned, a little stronger and wiser than before.
Facing cancer has taught me that sometimes the only way through a difficult time is by facing it head-on. And sometimes an ending needs something more than words to honor its significance.
I chose to stand up and ring that bell to let others know that REMISSION is possible. Cancer is being defeated every day. Choosing to honor the ending of my treatment helps let other cancer patients know that victory is possible, and there is always a reason to celebrate and be grateful for how far we’ve come.