We Are Warriors

“Are you going to get the virus mommy? I’m scared.”

 My five-year-old daughter asks me as tears fill her eyes.

 “I remember when the ambulance took you away.”

 “I was so scared. I thought you were going to die.”

 My daughter recounts this heartbreaking story way too often.

 It’s been said that when one person gets cancer, the whole family and everyone that loves them does too.

 As much as I would like to put the memory of my treatment far behind me, for my children, the fear of my cancer returning or a virus sending me back into the hospital absolutely terrifies them.

 I try to move past those days, but the smallest thing can trigger a memory and I find myself reliving those moments all over again.

 My oldest had just left for summer camp that morning. I was violently ill and couldn’t sadly see her off to camp. My condition continued to worsen throughout the day. I couldn’t keep anything down. My husband made the difficult decision to call an ambulance.

 As the paramedics arrived, I remember being so weak I could hardly speak as they loaded me on the gurney. My mother-in-law and young children were sobbing and watching helplessly as the paramedics wheeled me out of our front door and into the ambulance on our driveway.

 The paramedics couldn’t get my nausea and vomiting under control. I was severely dehydrated by the time I got to this hospital. Hours after testing and a cocktail of anti-nausea medication and IV fluids my condition finally improved. 

 During my treatment and first year in remission, I battled severe bouts of nausea and vomiting.

I had to be hospitalized five times.

Each time I said goodbye to my family, we all wondered and feared what would come next. Thankfully, I was able to recover, and my health has greatly improved since then. Still, those what-ifs and worst-case scenarios keep replaying in the back of our minds.

It’s hard to move on, yet we continue to push forward in faith.

This is the reality most cancer fighters, survivors and immunocompromised face on a daily basis.

We may be tired.

We may be weary.

We may feel broken.

We must remember, we are warriors.

 Warriors view obstacles as opportunities.

Warriors work to defy the odds.

We refuse to give up on anything or anyone.

Warriors understand our greatest enemies can become our greatest teachers.

Warriors realize our current struggles will one day become someone else’s survival guide.

We have faced numerous battles.

We have experienced many defeats,

Yet our spirit is not defeated.

Cancer, like any virus, feeds on a sense of dysfunction.

It is often fueled by the many fears that surround any diagnosis.

The fear of the unknown and the frightening possibility of living life without the ones we love.

Although we may fear what’s in front of us,

We continue to push forward fearlessly through faith.

Thank you to all the doctors, nurses, first-responders and other medical professionals on the front-lines.

 You are warriors.

You are the reason I am still here.

You are the reason my family is still here.

After all, some must be warriors, so that others may live in peace.

Finding Healing with a Warrior Mindset

It is said that a fighter’s journey begins in the mind. We all have those line-in-the-sand moments where our life is forever changed in an instant. For me, it was finding out I have cancer a week before I turned 32. So, how do you push on and find positivity when your whole world seems to be falling apart?

Preparing through Positivity

In life, difficulty doesn’t discriminate. I believe it is how we respond to difficulty that ultimately defines us and shapes our character. The first step in developing a warrior mindset is to prepare for future obstacles and challenges you may encounter by cultivating a sense of self-awareness that is focused on growth.

When negative events happen, instead of asking “Why me?” ask “What can I learn from this?”. “How can this challenge help me grow if I am brave enough to face my fears?”

An attitude typically means a state of mind, feeling, or disposition. It also encompasses how a person views something or tends to behave toward it. This is why attitude is so important. A mindset is developed when you employ a fixed mental attitude that predetermines your response to a given situation. For example, your attitudes toward something helps develop your response or approach. Your mindset then becomes your approach.

Believing it is Possible

You often hear “if you can see it you can achieve it.” Well, there's a reason. It works. Using mental imagery or visualization is one of the most powerful skills you can use to enhance your mental toughness and performance under stress. Research has shown that if you mentally prepare and believe you can accomplish something, you will increase your chances of success. However, if you allow negative thoughts and doubts to creep in, they will ultimately decrease your chances of success.

Using Mental Imagery for Success

Here is a simple form of imagery training for everyday life:

First, think about the action you are about to take. Go over it in your mind and imagine yourself doing the task while sitting or standing quietly. Next, think about it again but now go through the motions almost in a robotic motion. The final part is actually practicing the task.

The goal of this training is to help create a bridge between the psychological and physical aspects of what you are trying to accomplish. If you incorporate this into your life, new skills won’t seem so new when you try them for the first time. However, mere repetition won’t do the trick. You must also visualize yourself being successful.

Finding Your Own Mantra

A mantra is a statement or quote repeated frequently, often when praying or meditating. I believe finding an empowering mantra or belief statement is the first step you can take towards healing.

For me, during my cancer treatment I am employing the following mantra:

“I have the strength, faith and support I need to heal from this cancer.”

Your mantra doesn’t have to be religious, it can be a quote— even lyrics to a song. It just has to be something that empowers you and helps you focus on a positive outcome despite your current situation.  The key is to select one quote or empowering statement and repeat is out loud (to yourself) with emotion.  This is not a simple memorization process; this is to create energy, passion and a new belief.  Also, it’s important to select a different word to emphasize.  Say that you choose “Men’s best successes come after their disappointments.”  For the first 5 times you say it out loud with energy on the entire phrase.  Next emphasize the word “men’s”, for 5 times, then “best”, and so on until you have repeated the entire phrase. 

Once you have your mantra, the next step is to visually pair it with a positive outcome in your mind.  Focus your intention and imagine yourself successfully tackling your current obstacle. Now, picture yourself many years in the future and think about how facing that fear or challenge has made you better, stronger. Take note of all the thoughts and feelings that come to mind.

In regards to my own battle, every day I am picturing myself receiving the news that I am in remission. I then follow that image with more detailed visualizations of my body being healed and well enough to run in a 5K. Next, I picture myself well into the future—older, wiser and healthy, holding my grandkids in my arms.

Thinking Like a Warrior

The keys to a warrior mindset are preparing and believing.  Being a warrior simply means putting your heart and soul into something you believe in and never looking back. Having a warrior mindset means refusing to quit no matter the circumstances.

Having a warrior mindset also means doing whatever it takes to be prepared for future challenges because warriors don't just survive, they overcome and win. At the end of the day, life is merely a mind game; so it's important that you play to win. Your life could depend on it.

Sources:

 Police Magazine

Warrior Mind Coach