Two?

People often find the news hard to believe.
It’s not the fact that I am a mom of three, including TWINS, that leaves them stunned.
It not that in just TWO days I will be cancer-free for two years now that leaves people speechless.
It’s the fact that I’ve lost two loved ones to suicide and nearly lost myself too.

My story is more than my journey with cancer.

My story is not one that I can easily share but I do my best to write and speak about it when I can because I know that’s one of the main reasons I’m still here.

A big part of my journey is overcoming the grief and heartache that comes with the pain of losing two loved ones to a tragedy that I now believe could have been preventable.

I was reminded about my family’s legacy of loss when I heard the news of a coworker’s unexpected death this week.

Due to the untimely and tragic nature of her passing, there was a lot of immediate speculation, shock and heartache as the news of her death spread.

The pain and stigma surrounding losing a loved one to suicide clouds their memory and makes their untimely passing so much harder to accept.

As if their death wasn’t hard enough, now you are faced with a new level of grief that few understand.

There are often no words for this type of loss.
Just like when someone you love is diagnosed with cancer—words can’t seem to touch the gravity of the situation.
So many of us are at a loss of what to do or what to say when it comes to mental health, especially our own.
We hide behind the “fines” and “I’m good.”
But if what’s going on in the world right now is teaching us anything is that at the most basic, primal level we are all in this together.

We are all scared out of our minds while doing our best just to survive.

Part of the reason I began blogging about my journey with cancer over three years ago was to also be able to open about my struggle with mental illness.

I started to speak up about mental health to help break through the silence and stigma around suicide that has taken far too many of our sons, daughters, sisters and brothers.

I continue to reach into my vault of heartache from my family’s legacy of loss because I believe my grief can be channeled for good.

I’m continuing to share my extraordinary losses and gains, whether they come in twos or more so that hopefully, one day, my words are met with a “me too”.

I keep sharing the uncomfortable details of my past that I wish I could lock away and forget about, because if it can help save just one life then it was worth it.

My journey with cancer and mental illness has taught me that many of us are fighting silent and invisible battles every day.

Some we lose. Some we win.
But our pain always has a purpose.
Sometimes you can’t find the words to say and that’s okay.

You don’t always need to know the right words to say.
Sometimes all you need to do is be brave enough to ask for help and to take it.
All it takes to help your family or friend who is struggling right now is an open mind and heart and the wilingness to listen to their concerns without judgment.

Check on your family and friends. Let them know they are not alone.

Reaching out today could create the ripple effect of kindness and bring the hope we all so desperately need.

*** If you or someone you love is struggling right now, please call ‪1-800-273-TALK‬ or text HOME to 741741