“Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” — Joseph Campbell
Some of the most precious things in life are born from struggle.
Seeds and roots pushing through the Earth’s crust.
Blossoms bursting open.
Caterpillars becoming butterflies.
Chickens hatching.
Babies being born.
The world around us is teeming with incredible miracles every day.
Nature constantly reminds us that sometimes it takes a breakdown to have a major breakthrough.
Pain has a powerful way of teaching us what’s most important and where our true purpose lies.
While there is tremendous pain, suffering and uncertainty all around us, there also is an opportunity for change. Because when things go wrong, there is also a greater opportunity to turn things around for the better. Our difficult seasons can also be a chance for us to change directions and let go of what no longer serves us.
Cancer taught me that we can’t always prevent a troubling event from happening, but we can always control how we respond.
While I would never have chosen the most painful parts of my journey, I am grateful for all my pain has taught me about myself.
Coming to this point wasn’t an easy journey. We rarely view painful events in this way. We do our best to avoid pain and uncertainty at all costs by staying firmly planted in our comfort zones.
I certainly did.
It usually takes a life-changing event or diagnosis like cancer to shake up our status quo and send us searching for deeper meaning in our lives.
Pain and traumatic events like cancer have the power to change the trajectory of our lives.
Trauma transforms us into different versions of ourselves. Whether those changes are for better or worse is largely up to the choices we make, our perception and overall mindset.
Consider this, are you the same person that experienced that painful event in your past?
No, the person that first experienced that traumatic event no longer exists. You have been changed, even on a cellular level.
It’s so easy to get caught up in what happened and what could have been. But when we focus on the what ifs, we overlook the wonderful possibilities that exist before us right now.
In this way, when we rethink the painful events of our past, some of the most awful things that happen in our lives can go from being obstacles and stumbling blocks to opportunities that propel us forward on our path to reaching our purpose.
How do you move forward when the memory is too painful to leave behind?
Some wounds are just too painful to move past and too difficult to forgive.
Sometimes the memory of what was can actually be more painful than the event itself.
Sometimes, no amount of medication, therapy, prayers or meditation can heal the deep wound. However, I’ve found that healing from a traumatic event happens on multiple levels. While some wounds can’t be healed completely, they can be transformed into something better over time.
Some wounds are sent to break us open to remind us of our true strength.
Our wounds bring pain but they also bring a deeper wisdom that only comes by overcoming what originally hurt us.
These wounds are meant to break us wide open so that we can use our story of survival to light the way and guide others through their inner darkness.
Turning our past pains into stepping stones to realizing our purpose requires the courage to embrace what happened to you and use it as fuel to change the world.
Sharing our story of survival helps transform us from victims of circumstance into the victors of our own story.
Being brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and share your story lets others know there is a path forward out of the darkness. Because once we are able to heal our untouchable wounds, we can help others heal too.
Trauma and painful events from our past don’t have to continue to define our future.
Just because something happened; doesn’t mean it will always be that way.
In my short time on this earth, I have survived numerous health crises, unspeakable losses and heartache including the sudden death and suicides of loved ones and my own personal journey with cancer. However, as difficult as those times were, I know they served a greater purpose, helping to shape me into a more compassionate and empathetic person.
Cancer at first seemed like an incredible curse, yet it has brought more connection and meaning to my life than I ever knew was possible.
Everything changes once you can look back on the most difficult period in your life and feel gratitude instead of bitterness because you finally understand it was all part of a bigger plan. We eventually start to realize as difficult as that time was, it was really a catalyst pushing us further along towards realizing our life’s purpose. When we are able to turn our pain into purpose, we start to melt away anger and resentment and replace it with joy and a renewed love of life.
5 Ways to Turn Your Pain into Purpose During Difficult Times
Look for the Silver Lining in the Situation
Try asking yourself the following questions: Is it possible you’ve been looking at that painful memory the wrong way? What if the worst thing you ever went through was a blessing that you weren’t meant to understand until much later? If it’s a painful memory you can’t forget, find a way to help others going through the same thing, and it will help you heal, too.
Get Your Feelings Out on Paper
Take some time to reflect on the painful event. In a notebook or journal, write down as many memories as you can recall from that time. Write whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry about the order. Later you can go back and arrange the events chronologically. Also, don’t worry about writing in full sentences or whether or not your grammar is correct. Let the contents of your mind and heart fill the pages without judgment or fear. Getting your thoughts on paper helps you make sense of how you are feeling. Once you are able to reflect on what you wrote down, you may start to notice some repeating themes or patterns. Learning how to observe how you are feeling about a particular event without judgement, guilt or shame is one of the first steps towards healing.
Shift from Anger to Forgiveness
To forgive someone doesn’t mean that you’re letting this person off the hook or saying that what they did to you is okay. To forgive someone means letting go of the anger inside of YOU. It helps to think of your heart like a closet that can only hold so much. If your closet is filled with bitterness, there won’t be any room for good things like love and healthy relationships. When you forgive, you empty the closet of negativity and make more room for the love of others to fill that space.
Gain Perspective
Bad things happen to good people all the time. You can allow it to consume you or you can use the painful experience to fuel your life purpose. If you were bullied or assaulted as a child, if you lost a parent at a young age, if you felt invisible as a teen, if you’ve battled an addiction or chronic illness—all the suffering you’ve endured and survived could save the life of someone else who’s alone and scared right now, facing what you once did. The more you reach out with your wisdom, experience, and courage, the more you will heal, and instead of resenting what happened to you, you’ll finally be able to make peace with it.
One way to gain perspective is by practicing daily gratitude, especially during difficult times. As hard as it can be try to make a habit of listing at least five things you are grateful for each day. Try to be as specific as possible and it is best if you actually write down the list in a journal each day. Starting your day with gratitude is a simply yet very effective way to quickly shift your overall mindset.
Give and Get Support
There may be someone already in your life who’s losing hope praying for help, going through what you did. You might be able to help in ways you could never have imagined. That person who needs your experience to help get through something that’s tearing them apart could be right there in front of you, and you just never noticed. You may be the answer to someone else’s prayer.
Connecting with others in your local community, church or virtually through online support groups, can help you transform your pain into purpose by getting you to focus outside yourself.
Turning pain into purpose is one of the most powerful healing practices you can commit to in your life. Sometimes all it takes to save someone from hopelessness is another person who’s been there and survived.
More Resources
During the most challenging times in my life what has helped the most is the guidance and support of others that are on similar journeys.
My battle with cancer taught me that reaching remission is only the first part of the journey. Being a part of their Hope Warrior Academy and private Facebook group this year really helped me build a more resilient and empowered mindset so that I can face whatever comes next. I highly recommend checking out their academy and the free resources they have on their website.
Website: https://hopewarriorproject.com/